The feared scenes are those events in which fear lies. They can be scenes that have already happened and we fear that they will be repeated or those that we imagine to become a reality in a nightmare. In this sense, although the initial instinct may be to flee from them and stop thinking about them, precisely facing them with tools, such as the following, is what gives power over them.
Knowledge makes us powerful. That is, knowing these scenes, elucidating the fears that we all share and visualizing the steps that separate these feared scenes from the current situation increases our control. Let’s look at fear head on!
Types of scenes: current, feared and desired
In humanistic psychotherapy, such as psychodrama or Gestalt psychology, one works with the feared, desired and current scenes. They are represented realistically, even with intermediary objects or co-therapists, so that our brain feels that it is really happening.
The dreaded scene is one that causes us fear when we think that it will happen in a more or less distant future. The desired scenes are those that are in opposition to the feared scenes and project hope. Finally, the current scene defines the state or situation in the here and now.
These scenes can refer to multiple contexts and life stages. For example, a feared couple scene in which there is fear of a breakup and loneliness. Your desired scene could be for the relationship to prosper or to face loneliness without fear. Finally, the current personal and couple situation is dramatized.
Once these scenes are clarified, we talk about interscene spaces; that is, what separates our present moment from what we fear or desire. Answer the questions: what would have to happen now to end up in the dreaded or desired scene? What can you do for or against them?
The dreaded scenes we all share
Although feared scenes may differ between people, there are certain components that underlie all fears. Generally, it is a fear, real or imaginary, of suffering harm and is usually related to the following aspects:
- Fear of death. A universal fear from which the basic survival instinct is born. The dreaded scenes can be related to the fear of suffering diseases, phobias of certain objects, etc.
- Loneliness. The fear of not being accepted and valued as one more member of the group. They are related to dreaded scenes that involve abandonment, jealousy, among others.
- Losing autonomy. To experience fear when thinking that, in some way, we lose control of our own body and be at the mercy of the external. These dreaded scenes have to do with ending up physically locked up, as in claustrophobia, or emotionally, for example in a couple engagement.
- Damage to the ego. The fear of losing our personal integrity. Scenes of humiliation, shame, or disapproval on the part of others are some examples of possible dreaded scenes.
Why is it necessary to know our dreaded scenes
The feared scenes are those situations that cause us fear, as opposed to our desired scenes. A tool used in psychotherapy is to dramatize these scenes, as well as the interscene spaces. That is, those events that would have to occur for the current situation to become the feared or desired one.
L scenes as feared may pose a deadlock situation emotionally and lead to certain diseases. Thus, the person will avoid thinking and knowing this dreaded scene by all means, at the same time that he will try not to reproduce it. However, the lack of knowledge can mean that these forms of coping not only do not solve the problem, but also end up unleashing what we fear.
For example, someone whose dreaded scene is related to abandonment, can take protective actions to avoid that fear, such as trying to emotionally distance people close to them. However, this estrangement, precisely, can trigger the breakdown of the bond with these people and bring with it the dreaded scene.
Not understanding your own feared scenes limits you and makes you stay in a comfortable zone where you believe you cannot be harmed. However, it makes us miss opportunities and let spontaneity flow. Therefore, looking within and knowing fear puts us in a position of power. Entering our dreaded scenes and dissecting them deeply gives us strength. Self-knowledge is power.