It is women who seem to suffer the most from the so-called 40s crisis. This is because they go through a biological stage where they are neither young nor old. So, how to overcome this crisis or simply prevent it from appearing?
You may be afraid of getting older or of stopping being young. Or both at the same time. The truth is that the crisis of 40 is suffered by the vast majority of women and also many men. In the female case, the fact of beginning to go through menopause and the symptoms that it entails, both physical and psychological, is added.
“You can’t help getting old, but you don’t have to get older.”
The “midlife crisis” does not appear on the very day the person blows out the 40 candles. It can develop a little earlier or later. It is time to start analyzing what has been done so far and the pending issues that remain to be resolved. Undoubtedly, in some cases the idea of retirement and retirement already haunts the head (although there are still many years left for it).
Characteristics of the crisis of 40
Experts indicate that there are two types of age- related seizures. One of them is evolutionary, which has to do with how old we are and our biological changes. The other is circumstantial, motivated by changes in the environment but also affects us personally. The crisis of 40 years is evolutionary in nature.
The symptoms can be accompanied by a picture of depression and anxiety, especially due to social and family pressures when reaching a certain age. For example, if that person has not yet married or had children, has not gotten a good job, or has not bought a house, studies say that they are more likely to feel sad than someone who has met those cultural guidelines.
The reasons for this crisis are diverse, but the most frequent are insecurity, excessive responsibility or routine for a long time, as well as having conflicting partners, realizing mistakes, boredom or lack of clear objectives.
Daniel Levinson, a pioneer North American psychologist in applying this notion of “crisis of the 40s” to psychology, raises his Theory of the structure of life (1986) organized in stages. The arrival of the fourth decade of life would be framed within middle adulthood and would be characterized by the fact that people become aware that all the goals they wanted to achieve they will not be able to achieve.
Thus, from that age, people fantasize about a tentative life plan; little thought and based on somewhat utopian illusions. In this sense, this author considers that in men, most of these desires are related to work occupations and focused on personal or spiritual growth. While, in women, that idyllic dream revolves more around marriage and family. It would therefore be that comparison between the achievements made and the idyllic plan of life that would be the genesis of the crisis of the 40s.
A new perspective
Without a doubt, one of the most important signs of the crisis of the 40s is that need to go back to being “young”, that is, to be 20 years old again. This leads to the search for new experiences, to do things that could not be done before for various reasons, to dress like a teenager, to frequent bars or discos, etc.
This new attitude towards life can become a wonderful new awakening, a motivation that takes us out of our routine and enriches our lives. But, it can also cause a great nostalgia that paralyzes us and makes us begin to sleep soundly about what was, forgetting that we still have a lot of things to do.
The positive change that can flow from this crisis comes in part from accepting that time has passed, without feelings of anger or helplessness. It also comes from not abandoning the present and the future to pay homage to the past.
A good reflection and a good redesign of our life, which is actually what the body is asking of us, will make us move forward with the wisdom of now and the young restlessness of yesteryear.
What can we do in the face of this crisis
It is essential to stay positive. It does not matter if they make you notice that you are already “older”, it is good to know that age brings experience, anecdotes and knowledge. You still have many years ahead of you, it is not worth it that you spend them suffering.
Do not forget to enjoy. The experience of having grown up and been through a lot of problems makes you even more interesting and prepared for what continues. You will have greater self-control and you will know the consequences of your actions. Remember that the best time is the here and now.
Don’t associate youth with happiness. At every stage of life you can live with joy and fulfillment.
Finally, it could be said that you are in the middle of life. It is a good time to think about what you have already done and also in the future, because there is still so much to do. Any changes you want from now on will have to be evaluated and analyzed in detail.