The corner of calm is a space for learning and emotional growth available to everyone. Children and adults suffer frustrations and emotional ups and downs that put our ability to regulate emotionally to the test, giving way to poorly adapted behaviors – uncontrolled or too inhibited. This corner is a valuable tool to find calm in those moments.
Emotional self-regulation is a skill that is acquired as we grow, but that requires constant learning. Thus, in this article we want to talk about how to build and use a corner of calm, as well as its enormous benefits on an emotional level.
What is the corner of calm?
The corner of calm is a personal space for introspection. It is commonly used in child psychology. However, more and more adults are incorporating it into their homes.
Emotional regulation is the ability to govern our behaviors -both mental and factual- in favor of our interest and it is possible thanks to the fact that we have means and tools to influence our emotions: we are not necessarily executors of their dictates. The difficulties of it are manifested through sudden mood swings, outbursts of anger and difficulties in controlling emotional states.
In children, it is common for these difficulties to manifest themselves through frequent and intense tantrums, as well as a low tolerance for frustration. These tantrums are part of the normal stages of child development that tend to stabilize beyond four years of age, when the development of the prefrontal cortex allows it.
Emotional regulation involves recognizing one’s own emotions, as well as the events that may have caused them to act accordingly. The corner of calm provides its own time and space that facilitates this emotional reflection, whose basic requirement is the symbolic presence of calm.
How to build a corner of calm?
To build a corner of calm there are many possibilities and the only requirement is that it has elements that provide tranquility to the person or people who use it. Here are some ideas about it:
- Choose a fixed space for this place, preferably one that is collected, such as a makeshift tent.
- Mark the place of calm and visible and clear instructions on its use, in the case of children.
- Introduce elements that make the place cozy, such as cushions, blankets, drawings of quiet landscapes, etc.
- Collect materials to return to tranquility, it can be a pot of calm, mandalas to paint, anti-stress balls to practice progressive relaxation, a balloon to breathe, an mp3 with music … Creativity to power!
- Items to work on tantrums with children, such as newspapers to break up, drawing material to represent “the monster of anger”, etc.
How to use a corner of calm?
A particularly important point to achieve a good use of the corner of calm is to make an adequate presentation and clearly state the rules of use.
At the inauguration of the corner of calm, it will be announced when it may be beneficial to use it. In the same way, the idea that it is not a place that implies any obligation or restriction of use will be highlighted . If we don’t do it this way, it can stop turning into a corner of calm and turn into punishment, as in the ” time out ” behavioral technique .
Some of the situations in which the corner of calm can be especially beneficial are the following:
- Management of intense emotions such as anger to return to a balanced state.
- Avoid hurting yourself or others.
- Resolution of conflicts between several.
- Need for solitude.
- Expression of sadness or other emotions with privacy.
- Find a private space with another person.
- Initiation in meditation.
- Rest and enjoy.
A haven to regulate emotions
The corner of calm is a refuge for emotions that we can use both adults and children. It is easy to build and is based on establishing a positive relationship with yourself, as opposed to using it as a space for punishment.
Emotional regulation is a superior skill that we acquire in our first years of life but that constantly needs to be relearned to achieve greater self-knowledge. Without this regulation, people are left at the mercy of emotions that do not guide, if not that overflow
The corner of calm is not a space for repression of emotions either. On the contrary, it is a tool to recognize them, identify why they accompany the person at this moment and be able to return to an initial state. Thus, you avoid suffering from this emotional overflow that can lead to impulsiveness instead of reflection on the emotions experienced.
This space of tranquility is a physical refuge that, in fact, is a symbolic element for the connection with your internal reflection . Actually, the corner of calm is within you. You just need to contact him.