If you mourn every day for what happened, it is because that very valuable person that you carry inside is looking for you to listen to them and allow them to heal. This happens to you because she knows that, in order to turn the page, you need to forgive yourself and understand that, even though it went wrong, you tried to do your best at that moment and that also has its value.
In fact, you cannot carry that weight on your conscience any longer, since it is not good for you and also you do not deserve it: remind yourself again that the consequences of an action have to materialize, but they do not have to be eternal.
You have suffered enough and, although it was not what you wanted, you have also collected the criticism, perhaps some shame and even some moral judgment derived from that bad outcome. However, they are things that have to happen: when we face our decisions we run the risk of being wrong and not all the good will that we have put into it excludes the option of error.
“I just wanted…”
It is true that acting with a soul loaded with goodness is undervalued and that there are some people who use the so-called “good intention” as a shield to hide their cowardice or make excuses that leave them well stopped. However, there are others who do not and who truly feel bad about themselves because what happened was not what they expected, because their intention was to do their best.
That is, you have reached the point where you regret over and over again how things have developed and those “I just wanted” or “it was not my intention” are the result of a feeling of guilt that has gripped you ever since. Those two phrases are the symbol of the frustration of someone who has tried to put his heart into an action and yet with it has distributed crystals.
“I am like everyone else: weak, capable of any gaffe,
but basically good people “
You feel pressure in the chest and regret, it is useless that the person affected has already forgiven you and now the situation does not hurt you, but your morale: it does not help you to think that you wanted to do your best and you would like to go back to change things. However, the solution lies in another direction.
Dare to take the step towards forgiveness
The only way out you are going to be able to go if you want to move from where you are is to forgive yourself ; So if you are convinced that you want to stop feeling bad, you have to dare to do it. Only that you succeed will make the torment leave your head and that everything is over.
It is beneficial that you are able to no longer regret something that you cannot change and that is already in the past, precisely because in your good intentions there is also the possibility of starting over, of discovering that nobody is perfect and neither are you, although we would like to.
“Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave”
Having made a mistake does not make you a bad person, nor does a failure have to be the judge of the rest of the emotions you have at this time: have confidence in yourself, value yourself and there will be more opportunities to show you that you do not always lose, but that sometimes you win too. You can reflect on this: mistakes do not define you, but they help you become who you are.
That giving your best remains a daily medicine
To finish, I will tell you why I think you have to free your conscience from what is hurting you: simply because I believe that we need in the world people who allow themselves to be guided by a humble heart and full of goodness, although the results are not always of your part.
We need to give the best of ourselves to the people we love every day, be there if they need our company and give them a hand when they want some advice. What if we are wrong? Well, in that case we can ethically forgive ourselves and continue living in peace, after having assumed the consequences of the bad outcome.
“Love and goodwill are invaluable in human affairs”
It is true that many times it seems that what really matters is not the intention, but what is done because ultimately it is what we know for sure is real; But, sometimes, we forget that goodwill moves mountains and that without it not a single stone would move. So don’t beat yourself up anymore and give yourself another chance: it doesn’t always have to go wrong.