Do you feel that you do not understand with your family? Even though you can’t stand it, can’t you live without it? Sometimes, you come to feel like the black sheep for being different, not following what is established, having different values and principles. However, although it makes you very angry to have arguments over differences of opinion, family is important to you. How to get to a certain balance and that confrontations do not affect you so much?
Most of the time this is achieved by changing certain attitudes and ways that we ” defend ” against comments, criticisms or value judgments that we do not like and that alter us. We just have to change our point of view and the way we react to all this. Something that can be much easier than it may seem at first.
There is no perfect family. We all argue and fight, until sometimes we even stop talking to each other. But family is family and love is always there, although sometimes we do not perceive it that way.
The desire not to want to look like your family
Even if you respect your family, there are several points where you would not want to be like her. Maybe because there are certain customs or ways of thinking that you can’t stand. An example might be worrying about ” what will they say “. Perhaps because in yourself you identify the effort that it has cost you to overcome that way of thinking.
Sometimes you can even feel ashamed of your family for a certain behavior or attitude. You would like them to change so much… but at the same time you know that this is an almost impossible mission. In one way or another, don’t feel bad for not wanting to look like your family and not for feeling any qualms about what they do. The solution lies in accepting them.
Admit that you are different, that they are different too, and work to live with that difference without it being a source of discomfort. This will help you when outside your family environment you meet people with opposite ideas, with opinions that they believe to be true and you not so much. This experience will help you to accept, to respect and, ultimately, to be more tolerant.
A happy family is made up of people who are not perfect, but who constantly forgive and love each other.
If your family thinks about you in conversations, criticizes and judges you, instead of justifying you, smile. You do not need to prove anything, because no winner will come out of this. If you have an overly affectionate family in public and you feel some qualms, you can learn to withdraw without having to reproach them for their behavior. You can also discuss it with them at a time when you are not upset.