Starting a relationship is starting a new chapter in the book of your life. This means learning the lessons from the previous chapters in order to get the most out of reading the new chapter. However, this does not mean that we have to be stuck in previous chapters, as one who keeps the handbrake on “what may happen”.
Sometimes we run into very common problems when starting a new relationship. Depending on how the previous ones have been, we become more or less cautious, more or less cautious. We grope in the dark uncertainty of this new challenge that life presents to us.
Far from becoming a spontaneous and natural act, falling in love becomes a risky profession. Fear grabs our hand tightly, whispers future risks related to past problems in our ear, and paralyzes spontaneity and enjoyment. He pushes them away. It relegates them to a second position in a totally unfair way for us and for that person who has appeared in our life.
Before starting another chapter, let’s rest the previous one
Spontaneity, joy, and peace of mind are often buried in a better life. Waiting to be picked up from the place where we have placed them. Why? Perhaps because there is an atrocious fear of repeating old mistakes. To choose badly, to not know how to predict the signals or interpret them correctly.
For all this, you have to leave some time to the past to rest (as far as possible). So that all the learnings and lessons that this has given us with its passing are filtered. When we engage in a relationship with another we are not leaving that time of rest that our heart needs to sift through and understand the experiences it has lived.
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”
Especially in cases where the past relationship has been toxic and harmful to us. We must be able to find a space in time to understand what that relationship has taught us. Blaming the other for our responsibility never helps. Therefore, it is always important to dialogue with ourselves in an honest and sincere way.
When we learn the lessons of the past we choose better
The following chapters are taken in a freer way and without so many hooks. Thus, people appear in our life in a more natural and less forced way. When the heart is calm and you have learned the lessons of the past, you are ready to embark on a new adventure in a healthier and freer way.
“We should use the past as a stepping stone and not as a sofa”
The mistakes of the past will help us to know how to choose that person. Of course we will not want to go through the same thing that has made us suffer. For this reason, it is crucial to ask ourselves what our responsibility has been in everything we have experienced. What have been the wounds that have made us choose some people and not others.
Uncertainty is part of life, it cannot paralyze us
From that clean, pure and healthy place, we can better choose our new partner. It will not be the hooks, or dependencies, or deficiencies that choose. If not my complete and healthy “I” who wants to choose, and will choose someone who enriches us, who brings us light and calm with his presence.
Learning the lessons of the past is crucial to keep walking on the path of our life. The uncertainty about whether everything will work out is something that we have to assume as part of our existence. But a wiser self will have been erected and it will no longer be so chaotic.
It is good to be cautious and have a certain respect for what is coming, but we also have to give life a certain margin to surprise us with its future. Therefore, he closes chapters, learns his lessons and begins the new chapter with enthusiasm and dedication. Only then can you receive the good that is to come.