Habits are behaviors that are repeated over time. This repetition routine obeys a conditioning that we choose consciously or unconsciously. You will notice that there are healthy habits such as exercising, eating healthy or reading. But there are also pernicious and self-destructive habits. We will deal with this second group in this article.
Self-destructive habits consume your energy , affect your emotional balance, and hinder your well-being. These bad habits establish insurmountable barriers that limit or prevent you from achieving your goals. They restrict your freedom and restrict the boundaries of your happiness.
” Bad habits are easier to break than to amend them “
-Quintiliano, Marco Fabio-
The only way to eradicate these nefarious customs is to become aware of them. You probably repeat these patterns of thought and behavior without realizing it. But if you look at yourself in detail, you will notice that they are there and that they hurt you. Next we will talk about the most common self-destructive habits.
1. One of the most harmful habits: focusing on what you don’t have
This is usually an aspect that indicates how little value you give to what you have. Overvaluing what others have and you does not lead to bitterness. The important thing is to identify what your real needs are and try to satisfy them. Everything else is just glitz.
Do not forget that this attitude does not only apply to material things, such as your boss’s house, your friend’s car, etc. It also happens with intangible assets such as, for example, the success of your neighbor, the happiness of your colleague or the luck of your partner. All those things that you think you need only serve as justification to postpone your goals.
2. Blaming others
The origin of this bad habit is found in insecurity and fear , which lead you to jump to conclusions. You do not see the possibility of making mistakes and making mistakes as a possible learning that can enrich your experience.
You are scared of the consequences of your own decisions. Therefore, it is always better to hold others accountable for your failures. For example, when you breach a job obligation and your boss suspends you. Then you end up saying that he is a bitter person, who pays with you for his own unhappiness.
3. Stay in the comfort zone
The comfort zone is where you feel safe, but only in appearance. Staying in this zone prevents you from developing and growing, as you are trapped in an emotional stagnation. You lose the ability to take risks and experiment to find creative solutions to the same situation.
Here the popular adage “better known bad is better than good to know”. The typical example is that of traffic jams at peak hours. Sure there are alternative routes or different ways to get around to save time. However, we prefer to continue there, lamenting our bad luck and repeating the same thing every day.
4. Worrying about “what will they say”
This habit is common in insecure people, with low self-esteem and who do not have their own identity structured. They spend too much time of their lives pleasing others and are terribly upset about disappointing them. They do not live for themselves, but for others. As they do so they build their own unhappiness.
There are many examples of this self-destructive habit, which we can see in daily life. Like when a son studies the profession that his father likes and not the one that he likes or when someone dresses in something that is uncomfortable, but he supports it because “it is fashionable.”
5. Victimize yourself
We all go through bad experiences. Some mark us in a special way, but the moment comes when you must turn the page and move on. We can’t keep thinking that because we had a painful experience we deserve special and different treatment from others.
On the contrary, everything that does not sink us, strengthens us. These experiences are valuable and serve as a reference to avoid falling into the same thing again. But if you start to victimize yourself, you lose the opportunity to become stronger. Rather, you make problems and complaints a way of life.
6. Not sleeping well
This self-destructive habit leads to significant damage to your health, with negative physical and psychological effects. Not having a healthy sleep discipline ends up affecting your work and intellectual performance. But it also affects your mood, your mood and your health in general.
A good percentage of car accidents occur when driving for long distances and the driver has not had enough rest. Lack of sleep also generates small daily accidents or simply makes you emotionally unwell.
7. Deny the facts
This habit usually appears in people who fear uncertainty and avoid facing demanding situations. The person feels incapable of assuming the challenge that implies overcoming the supposed failure. Their lack of self-confidence leads them to constantly look for excuses to avoid their responsibilities.
Denying the facts means, for example, not accepting how old you are. Thus, there are people who want to remain very young, even if they are not so young anymore. They may even develop adolescent behaviors in an effort not to feel old.
All of these destructive habits are actually relatively easy to eradicate. When you become aware of them, surely, they no longer go unnoticed by you. You just have to observe yourself and reflect on the damage that these customs do to you. The rest is a matter of will.
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Images courtesy of Julia D. Lampe and Julie Waroquier