To love is to want without condition and to give yourself to another person. It is respecting, understanding, accepting and letting yourself be loved. But behind all this theory, there are 7 great truths about love that either go unnoticed or we take them for granted.
Is love unlimited? Do I have to demand the same as I give? Is there my prince charming? These are questions that we have all asked ourselves at times. But even so, we can continue without being clear about them. We give you certain clues so that you can deduce yourself, how much truth is hidden in love.
Beware of falling into idealization
Believing in a prince charming or a pink princess is an idyllic vision that we should forget after adolescence. No one is tailor-made for anyone, nor is he predetermined for another. Love at first sight does exist, but this overrated crush depends on the circumstances. In our experience, the context in which we find ourselves and the culture to which we belong will be produced or not.
We all have positive and negative qualities. Therefore, a love relationship will also have them. There will be strong points in which we will be more secure and weaker points that we have to strengthen. Keeping this in mind helps us to be aware of the type of relationship we have and what aspects we can work on and which ones advance positively.
The wealth of love is obtained by giving
The rich thing about loving your neighbor is that you are loving yourself at the same time. One of the great truths about love is that you can only love another person when your self-esteem allows you to love yourself. Love is a delicate gift that is deep within your being. Therefore, only by prior acceptance of yourself, you can admire the other.
To love is to feel the well-being, pain or joy of others as your own
If you share your happiness and dedication with others, they multiply. You will feel that you grow, you will find yourself in fullness, overflowing with love and joy. Why deny that feeling and impulse that we all carry inside and need to demonstrate?
Over time it gets stronger, it doesn’t go away
Let’s think of love as a tree. At the beginning, a seed is planted, which is full of strength and the desire to sprout. Little by little, watering it constantly, a small tree grows. The first year, it can still be somewhat weak, but as we add more water, its trunk becomes more robust. If we take care of it, as the years go by, it becomes even stronger.
At first, the illusion for a new love is such that everything seems to go smoothly. But when a storm hits, if the roots are not well buried, it is possible that the tree will deteriorate and the relationship will be broken, without more.
It is long lasting, not momentary
Zygmunt Bauman coined the term liquid love to refer to those fragile relationships established in social society. Relationships in which each member asks without giving practically anything in return. A selfish, banal, superficial way of loving and the fruit of a prevailing consumerism. This causes that when the other is no longer useful, it is discarded and a new one is sought. The realm of substitution.
One of the great truths about love is that it is not fleeting, or momentary, or frivolous. It is normal that there are small crises or moments of inflection, but it is a lasting state, which requires commitment and will.
Durable, but not infinite
There is a widespread belief that just being in love with another person is enough to keep you together forever. This is one of the half-truths about love.
It is an essential condition to have deep feelings towards the other, but it is also an essential condition to feed them daily. The small details that your partner has keep the flame of love alive and remind you why you fell in love with him and how much it is worth being by his side.
The easy thing is to fall in love. The difficult thing is staying in love.
For this reason, it is essential that each year you spend together, you get to know each other more. Thus, small gestures that do not involve too much for one can make the other very happy.
Who loves you well will not make you cry
Many people think that it is better for the other person to tell you the great truths, even if they hurt and make you cry. To some extent, it can be something to be thankful for when your eyes are opened to reality. But, really, there is no greater deception than believing that your partner makes you cry as part of his show of love.
A person who loves you does not hurt you, he says things to you in a way that he knows will not hurt you and tries to understand you. His intention is not to make you cry, or ignore your suffering but to be with you. Be your support and your shoulder.
Melanie Greenberg, coach and well versed in mindfulness, assures that love “is one of the most important emotions, but also the most misunderstood.” It is something irrational, a capacity that is exercised and requires effort. It is not automatic and is subject to one’s own will.
From love to hate there is only one step
Hatred and romantic love have been shown to be closely related. Both generate activity in the same subcortical areas of the brain: the putamen and the insula.
Although hate is normally considered as something tremendously negative, we must recognize that it is a passion as interesting as love. Not for that, we should stop being careful.
Hatred in relationships is usually related to an accumulation of small episodes of disagreement. Something like the drop that makes the glass of accumulated poison overflow. Although it is also true that it can occur abruptly after a serious offense.
As we can see, the truths about love are very far from the romantic relationships that movies and books offer us. It is a feeling that requires effort, care, intention and will. The most beautiful thing that human beings can experience, but also the most ephemeral if they do not take care of themselves or the most dangerous if their limits are crossed.