The language is what differentiates us humans from other species. It is clear that its usefulness is so important that few of us would know how to explain its usefulness in our lives.
On some occasions, over the centuries, certain patterns of social, sentimental or work behavior have been highly conditioned by what is said about them, that is, the influence of a phrase on a behavior has had much more influence than what can come to think in our minds.
The “laws of life” are not written in any judicial book but they are so involved in television, in the cinema, in popular wisdom, in what our relatives and friends say, that logically it has a conscious or unconscious influence In us.
But every rule has its exception, and sometimes getting out of the rule, why not say it, creates anguish in people (depending on how each individual processes reality, of course)
Let’s see some of these “Laws of life”:
“Life always ends up being fair”
Do you think this law can be applied to the times we live in? It does not seem that this rule is followed much, but unlike others that we will discuss later, this should be so, for the welfare of all.
It is not fair that a person who steals to eat has to go to prison while others who steal out of greed appear even acquitted at times. Therefore, we must start from the fact that life should be fair, but that on many occasions, it is not.
If we start from there, we reduce frustration and therefore violence, and then we set out to propose concrete actions to improve this situation. Sometimes it will be for a divorce, for a custody, another for the irregularity of distribution of assets, for the loss of rights of citizens.
But although we have to complain, at first, we must direct ourselves to a concrete action, so that within a social microsystem you can already face these situations. It will make you more decisive, reduce the feeling of helplessness and make you strong for possible injustices to come. Justice is the ideal, but it is not yet a fact.
Do not stand idly by waiting for that popular saying to come true, because that’s how it has to be and that’s it. No social movement to fight for a just society started like this.
“Until death do you part”
Who has not heard this assertion, as the protagonist at a wedding, as a witness, or as the happy endings of the movies that rarely show how that story continues.
We are all excited to see “Noa’s diary” with a pure and dedicated love until the end of life despite the difficulties.
But it is true that nowadays more and more couples decide to separate: the “until death separates you” becomes a “so far”, and you should not make a tragedy of it.
As Chaplin said, “We think a lot and feel very little.” If there is no longer a feeling of love, or other strong sentimental reasons to continue, it is good for each person to turn the page, understand that they are a person among the whole universe, and if it is because they do not love us, there are many people willing to love you , mainly you, which is when life is most wonderful, alone or with others.
“Being a mother is the most wonderful thing that can happen to a woman”
Without a doubt, being a mother is something magical. Deciding to have a child changes your life but you learn to be less selfish, to savor the moments with that being so small that has come from your gut to revolutionize your life in every way.
But … watch out! It doesn’t have to be that way for other women. Neither out of selfishness, nor out of fear, nor due to inability to have them … they simply do not like that experience, instead they do others.
These women must face a social judgment sometimes with phrases such as “you are going to stay alone, they take care of you” “you are missing the best of life” “it will come to you, otherwise the biological clock is there for everyone” , etc. Isn’t that something impertinent?
The French philosopher Elisabeth Badinter argues in her book The Conflict: Woman and Mother, that not all women want to be mothers even though they could be. José María Lailla, president of the Spanish Society of Gynecology and Obstetrics, sheds some scientific light on the matter.
“The desire to be or not to be a mother does not have a known cause in the physiological sphere ,” she points out. “It has been reported that the so-called female hormones (estrogens, progesterone, oxytocin and certain endomorphins) could have an action at this level, mainly based on studies with animals, in which it is concluded that every female has the desire to be a mother and when they are castrated this desire disappears or diminishes considerably “
So, we can conclude that for women there is a wide range of possibilities of how to lead her life, and none is scientifically proven as the best. Everything has its positive and negative side, but her right to make her life as she prefers must always be foreseen. No one should be surprised by not complying with this law, unless the human population is in danger of extinction, something that does not happen.
“Friends for life”
Well that’s wonderful! Who is not happy to have that group of friends from school that continues to be present in their joys and sorrows throughout life.
But well, evolution must be something present in the human being, not all of us live the same experiences and choose the same values. Perhaps it is about maturity, or common sense … but sometimes, there comes a time when we have to detach ourselves and get away from people who have been very important in our life and have been part of it, but connection has already been lost. , trust, there is an absence of interests and activities to do in common.
Or even worse, you begin to realize that not everything was so wonderful, that there came a moment in life, in which someone changed. Without reproaches, and without giving too many laps.
You have to look for situations and people that convey something to us, she can be your lifelong friend, she can be a wonderful partner with whom you have met at work.
So this law would be the ideal, but the ideal is sometimes not met. And you have to accept it with dignity.
“As your family will not love you”
For the love that a true family processes is exempt from bad intentions, envy, bad desires. For many people, there is the great privilege of returning to the family when you have experienced something unpleasant and they just need love and reassurance.
Unfortunately, this is not the case for many people. Abandonment, abuse, neglect … many behaviors that are far from what a child should receive in childhood.
But many people by this fact become ” resilient ” that is, they fit in this situation with serenity and calm and in the future they can show more maturity than anyone and they also know what the value of affection is, and they will deliver it to their loved ones with a lot of pampering, perhaps out of nostalgia for what they did not have or did not receive, but they house it inside to share it.
“Push yourself to the limit and you can reach the top”
If we look at the athletes, we see in them stories of total sacrifice, resignations, separations, trips, strenuous training, all of them train to the maximum, but not all of them reach the gold medal. Failed then?
A person who has fought for his dream cannot be considered a failure, who may have had emotional circumstances, physical injuries or economic obstacles that have sometimes slowed them down in their evolution) Taking the example of athletes, each one must put everything into effect what he can of himself to achieve a goal, but enjoying the journey.
If perhaps the goal is no longer achievable, let him look back and see how much he has achieved. Sometimes, it is better to stop and be happy with what you already have, than to continue looking to the top but to arrive alone and without ever having enjoyed it. It will be a bitter reward.
We all have limitations and virtues, true success is recognizing our limits and exploiting our virtues. Many frustrations will go away and new experiences will appear before us.
So to set phrases, sometimes deaf ears!